Sometimes we need to 'mark off' what we cannot master

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The story is a classic in our family, featuring Willie, my father's fictional character who always finds himself in an adventure with a message larger than his predicament.

This time Willie had wandered into a local bar and had a few drinks, just enough to make him feel invincible, even though he stood barely five-feet-four and weighed just over 100 pounds, wringing wet.

For several minutes he sat at a table, writing. Then he stood up with a swagger and bellowed loud enough to silence the crowd, "Excuse me, folks. I've got a list here of everybody in this room I can whip."

You could have heard the proverbial pin drop in the room. Finally, a big 200-pounder with the body of a football linebacker strode up to Willie.

"You got my name on that list?" he asked in a gruff voice.

Willie looked up and recognized him, checked his list, and said, "Yep. Your name is right here."

Looking down his nose at Willie, the big man said, "But you can't whip me."

Willie intently eyed his challenger, took in his full size and studied the situation for a few seconds. "Okay," he said, "then we'll just mark your name right off the list."

Willie had had a few drinks, but he was not too intoxicated to let good sense and civility rule.

In some ways, I admire little Willie -- once I get past the setting and source of his confidence. His list of "who to whip" could be reframed to "what to achieve" in his rustic effort at goal setting. Who or what we want "to whip" in our lives crystallizes when we pen our thoughts to paper. He had goals and took the time to write them down -- a worthy effort.

Willie was also not afraid to announce his intentions. Granted, we may not need to bellow them in a bar room, but public affirmations can often strengthen our resolve.

But most of all, I admire Willie's ability to adjust. When faced with a sizable challenge, he studied the situation, looked reality squarely in the eye, assessed the risk and acted. He knew when to mark off what he couldn't master.

There are some things we cannot "whip" in life, I've learned. Some illnesses cannot be beaten. Some relationships cannot be saved. Some losses can never be replaced.

And if we're honest, there are some goals that simply require too much effort to achieve. The cost of pursuit puts us at risk for out-of-balance living, draining too much time and energy from other equally important pursuits.

Like Willie, we may need to prudently mark things off our lists, even when we feel invincible.

Not to give up -- but to get real.

After all, life is measured as much by what we mark off and leave out as what we put in.

"Selectivity," my father once wrote, "is a key word that moves life from mere existence to vibrant living."

Let's keep our lists current -- and markers handy.

This column was co-authored and edited by Rebecca Faye Smith Galli, daughter of the late Dr. R.F. Smith Jr., a longtime columnist for The Herald-Dispatch.