Are our kids prepared for the world that
will greet them after college?
Her stepmother led the way.
"Excuse me," Cindy said. "Wheelchair coming through,
excuse me," she repeated.
The sea of Tar Heel blue parted, as the graduates
crowded closer together and allowed me to wheel through.
My daughter, Brittany, along with 3,371 other
University of North Carolina undergraduates, huddled at their designated gate. Although directed
to another parent entrance, the wet pine needle terrain proved too
treacherous for my wheelchair.
This the only way I know for me to get in,” I
told Cindy as we followed the pavement through the blue bee-hived
entrance.
As she meandered through the jungle of robes
and tassels, I focused on the ground just beneath her feet. My
goal was to avoid rolling over sandaled feet and manicured toes,
making sure no one landed in my lap. More than once, I’ve
surprised a poor soul who had backed up to find a set of immobile
knees behind theirs.
“I’m sorry,” I kept repeating to the graduates’
feet. “It’s the only way I know. Thank you.”
They graciously moved
out of the way -- for all of us.
Cindy forged ahead,
our conga line extending behind the two of us with
Brittany's father and brother in tight
formation and her boyfriend bringing up the rear, balancing her
6-year-old half-brother on his shoulders.
If only we'd had an
aerial view.
We emerged from the
crowd, found our seats and exhaled, marveling at our unexpected
adventure.
"We made it," I said
to Cindy, finally raising my eyes to hers.
And so did these
graduates.
Cloaked in that
common garment that unifies by color, style and purpose, these
graduates mourned and celebrated this bookmark in their lives.
As we watched the pageantry, I spied several
Baltimore alums searching for their graduate children. There's a special bond
when you travel the same path -- even if it's 30 years later. The
same buildings, the same dorms and sometimes even the same
professors have become part of your children's history, too.
And you wonder, what
have they taught my child this time? Were they the same lessons we
learned? Are they the lessons they need to know now?
Graduates today have
lived through unprecedented tumult. Through her boyfriend's eyes, Brittany witnessed the Virginia Tech
shootings on his campus while experiencing first-hand the tragic
death of UNC student body president Eve Carson, shot to death last
year. The shock and aftershock of such violence ushered in a new
culture of caution to the carefree college life.
Undaunted, this
generation pressed on. Our children took self-defense classes,
instituted security measures and adjusted to the new cadence of
mindful living.
They refused to give
in to the fear. In fact, many chose to give back. Volunteerism
soared, as did charitable giving. This spring, I joined 2,000 UNC
students and friends in their largest-ever fundraising effort for
the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. They were determined
to "Celebrate. Remember. And Fight Back.
A week later, those
same kids helped "turn it blue" on campus, cheering on the
resilience and stamina of a men's basketball team that refused to be
denied a NCAA championship.
But are they ready
for the world that greets them now? Have they learned enough to
cope, to adapt, to find success along perhaps even more
unconventional paths?
"Life is a work of
art," a graduate's mom reminded me.
"With few
blueprints," I thought to myself.
Life after college is
rarely linear. Unexpected adventures and companions await. And for
those treacherous terrains, sometimes all we can do is focus on the
ground beneath the feet of those who have gone before us.
So press on,
graduates, and engage in whatever life throws your way. Mindful
living will serve you well.


06/17/09, Towson
Times